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Your adolescent needs you!As adults, we help shape our children's future William Ford, MSW, is a psychotherapist at Aurora Psychiatric Hospital, Aurora Behavioral Health Services. He specializes in the treatment of anxiety disorders and has worked extensively with adolescents and their families. The Columbine High School tragedy, and others like it, still weigh heavily on our minds. If we can identify the causes of such senseless acts, we can perhaps reduce their likelihood in the future. Much of the debate revolves around the prevalence of violence in our society and its connection with entertainment—the disturbingly bloody movies, television shows, video games and music—so much of which seems designed specifically to appeal to adolescent impulsivity and thrill-seeking behavior. While there is a limit to what adults can do to shield children from popular culture, our influence as powerful role models should not be underestimated. Studies have shown that despite the normal adolescent tendency to "tune out" the older generation in favor of their peers, parents are still the single strongest influence on adolescents' behavior. Most adolescents can be depended on to have a reasonable system of internal "checks and balances" that keeps them from making serious mistakes. It's important to remember, however, that adolescence represents the most challenging developmental period in the human life cycle—the time when all aspects of growth are accelerated at a pace that can be bewildering and sometimes overwhelming. Parents often feel they are walking a fine line—wanting to be available and comforting, limit-setting and directive, as they were earlier in their child's life. At the same time, they want to respect and encourage their child's growing sense of independence, integrity and responsibility. As daunting as the parental role can be during these years, we must never lose sight of the fact that parents are as needed during adolescence as they have ever been. Drugs and alcohol are available, it seems, on every street corner. Cruelty and violence are being passed off as entertainment. Sexual activity, the media suggests, is a casual pastime, without real consequences. In spite of all these risks, most kids make it through adolescence relatively unscathed. But many young people and their families need assistance. Adolescents differ radically in their ability to negotiate the difficulties they face—especially if a child has additional challenges. The young person whose body doesn't fit the ideal, whose shyness keeps him or her out of the social mainstream, whose concerns about his or her own sexuality may cause fear and confusion, or who struggles with periods of significant (even suicidal) depression, anxiety or extreme rage or hostility is the child who is especially at risk and who may need professional help to make it safely over a developmental hurdle. The responsible adults in their lives may need help learning how to listen effectively and respond wisely, not just to the words they may be speaking—or yelling—but also to what isn't being said. In a world of constant change, no parent can possibly have all the answers. It's smart and caring to seek professional assessment and advice when it comes to your child's well-being. Aurora Behavioral Health Services offers a comprehensive network of psychiatrists, psychologists, clinical social workers and other health care providers to address the full spectrum of behavioral health needs. Call (877) 666-7223 for more information about how we can help you and your loved ones find solutions to life's challenges.
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