Re . spect: A feeling of high regard, honor or esteem; consideration; courteous regard.
While “respect” is one of those abstract words that may not lend itself to easy definitions, we all know how it feels;
a person who treats us with respect makes us feel good about ourselves and brings out the best in us. Likewise,
there is no feeling more discouraging and ego-shattering than being treated with disrespect. It's not surprising that people who work in an environment characterized by courtesy and mutual respect have been shown to have
better morale and more positive attitudes towards their jobs, to be more productive and creative, more skilled at collaboration and teamwork, less
stressed, and even less likely to engage in discriminatory or harassing behavior. Clearly, there is a multitude of benefits not only to individuals, but to companies who foster and reward
respect among their employees.
Creating an atmosphere where mutual respect can flourish
is not as simple as it sounds. Today's workforce is no longer homogeneous, made up of workers of similar race, age, income and gender. Companies are increasingly likely to be staffed by a mix of diverse individuals from widely different backgrounds, and lack of understanding and tolerance of these differences may set the stage for mistrust and conflict. With the commitment and effort of all employees, however, differences need not be a barrier to a healthy, cooperative work environment that recognizes everyone's right to be treated with dignity and respect.
Carrie McEvoy-Ripp, MSW, an account executive with Family and Employee Services, works
with companies to help raise awareness of the need for workplace respect. Through her presentation Respect in the Workplace, she gives employees specific strategies for achieving a “culture of respect.” “What it all comes down to is treating the other person as you would like to be treated,” says McEvoy-Ripp. “At one time or another we've all experienced disrespectful behavior from co-workers, such as not responding to phone calls or messages, having our opinions ignored or discounted, not being recognized or thanked for our contributions. It makes our jobs that much harder if we feel like we're going it alone, instead of being part of a team working towards the same goals.”
One of the most effective ways to communicate respect for another person is by truly listening to what she or he is saying, a process called “active listening.” This involves facing the person who is speaking and maintaining eye contact; paraphrasing what we have heard and giving the speaker the opportunity to confirm or clarify what they
are saying; giving feedback that is immediate, honest and supportive; and listening without interrupting.
Active listening is important whether we're communicating one-on-one or in group settings.
Other examples of how we convey respect in our day-to-day dealings with co-workers include:
Statements or actions that affirm, compliment and value others. “I appreciate your help.” “You did a
great job.” “You made a real difference in the success of that project.”
Drawing others into the conversation or planning.
“I'd appreciate your feedback.” “What do you think about this idea?”
Making courtesy a habit. “Thanks for getting that message to me.” “I'd really appreciate your filling in for me at the meeting tomorrow.”
Apologizing when necessary for abrupt or disrespectful behavior.
Dealing with disrespect
We can all learn to treat others with more respect simply by being more aware of our behaviors and how they affect those around us. But what if we find ourselves on the receiving end of disrespectful behavior?
Cheryl Lipscomb, EAP Director, suggests addressing the situation assertively yet respectfully. “Often, what we perceive as disrespect is not intentional. The other person may
be unaware of the full impact of his or her behavior.” They may also genuinely believe that their approach is the one that will get results. Privately, describe to the person the effects of his or her behavior (e.g., “It's difficult for me to proceed with this assignment when you don't get back to me with your feedback”; “It's not easy to get the information I need when you respond impatiently to
my questions.”).
Try to clarify with the person what the message is behind his or her comments or actions. Some individuals, even managers, may find it difficult to be direct about their concerns and resort to approaches that are not always appropriate. Following their lead and responding disrespectfully only aggravates the situation. By inviting honest communication and modeling respectful behavior, you make it easier for them to be direct. Sometimes clarifying the intent of the message and making the person
aware of your reactions is all it takes to prevent further incidents.
If the behavior persists, continue to assertively restate your concerns. If the problems continue or grow worse despite your efforts, seek advice from someone
you trust and who can be objective; this could be your manager or your Human Resources representative. Your Employee Assistance Program is here to help you
find solutions to this and other personal and workplace issues.
Call your EAP at (414) 257-2124 or 1-800-236-3231.
