The power of resilience

Ten Ways to Build Resilience

Everyone faces difficulty and adversity in their life. While a problem-free, stressless existence may sound appealing, it's the challenges and obstacles in life that enable us to grow, learn and develop a sense of mastery over the world around us.

Recall a particularly traumatic time in your life. More often than not, it was also a time that led you to greater self-awareness and shaped who you are today, leaving you stronger and better prepared to cope with whatever the future had in store.

We all know of people who inspire us with their courage and ability to triumph over enormous odds, whether physical handicaps, poverty or an abusive childhood. Other individuals who seem to begin with all the advantages are overwhelmed by the day-to-day demands of life. So what makes the difference in what people do with the "raw material " of their lives — those who endure and thrive despite hardship, and those who are defeated by it?

What makes the difference is resilience – the ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change, to "bounce back" from difficult experiences, and even be strengthened by them. According to experts, resilience is a quality that can be developed throughout life. Many people exhibit it to an extraordinary degree in their everyday lives. The response to the events of September 11 and the aftermath is an example of ordinary Americans facing up to and accepting a horrific disaster, then choosing to act in a positive, constructive way with optimism and hope for a better future.

What factors make a person resilient?

Experts cite trusting, supportive relationships as key to resiliency. Many recent studies have looked at strategies for building resilience in children, especially children in chaotic or violent urban settings. Why do many such children succeed at school and in life despite exposure to major, often chronic life stresses? A caring, committed relationship, whether a parent, teacher, mentor or close friend who offers consistent support and encouragement, seems to buffer children from the effects of a harsh or hostile environment.

Other factors contributing to resilience are the ability to learn from experiences (rather than being overwhelmed by them); a sense of competence and power over one 's life; and the ability to problem-solve and remain optimistic, focusing on a future beyond the immediate difficulties.

Flexibility, the ability to imagine and try out other alternatives after experiencing a setback, is an important quality that comes naturally to children but that adults may tend to lose as they get older. Being open to novel, unexpected solutions helps us remain adaptable and resilient, whether dealing with a crisis or solving new problems.

The American Psychological Association has developed "Ten Ways to Build Resilience" (see below). It's important to note that effective strategies will vary from person to person; cultural differences, family relationships, how you communicate feelings and deal with adversity mean that your approach to building resilience will be uniquely your own. You will learn from your own life experience what works best for you, which is why coping with crises and loss can be so transforming and enriching.

Knowing when to seek outside help is crucial to coping with stress and adversity in a healthy way. Your EAP is here to help you and your family find strength to weather the inevitable changes and struggles you encounter at work and at home.

Call your EAP at 414-257-2124 or 800-236-3231.

"Challenges and obstacles in life enable us to grow, learn and develop."

Ten Ways to Build Resilience

1. Make connections. Accepting help from those who care about you – and assisting others in need – is a hallmark of resilience.

2. Have confidence that you can deal with the crisis. Stressful events are unavoidable, but you can choose how you respond to them. Look beyond the immediate problem towards a more hopeful future.

3. Accept change. Resilient people recognize that life requires us to adapt to circumstances beyond our control and focus our energies on what we can change.

4. Move toward your goals. Have realistic goals, and do something every day that brings you closer to achieving them. A series of gradual steps can add up to big changes.

5. Take decisive actions. Detaching from a stressful situation and hoping it goes away rarely works. Doing what you can to impact a problem gives you a sense of control.

6. Look for opportunities to grow. While struggling with a crisis or loss can be painful, it's these experiences that often lead us to discover who we really are, enhancing our relationships, coping abilities, and appreciation of life.

7. Maintain a positive self-image. Have confidence in your ability to solve problems and trust your own instincts.

8. Keep things in perspective. Look at the "big picture." It's easy to overreact to events that in a broader context simply aren't worth the stress and anxiety they can cause.

9. Maintain a hopeful outlook. Life usually meets our expectations, for good or bad. Focus on what you want, rather than what you fear.

10. Take care of yourself. A mind and body that are rested, nourished and cared for will be primed to deal with demanding situations. Many people find writing their thoughts in a journal or meditating are helpful in fostering resilience.